This is my first “rant” post…and I just couldn’t help myself. I initially wrote this post during a flight from Cleveland to Austin last week. I like to think of myself as a reasonalbly calm and easy going traveler that “rolls with the punches”. In other words, I put up with the terrible airport and airline service pretty well 
But for whatever reason last week, I was in a terrible mood. I woke up at 430 am to catch an early morning flight and I was stuck in a middle seat sandwiched between two dudes. After 3+ years of traveling on an almost weekly basis… I needed a good, cleansing rant to calm myself.
I HATE IT WHEN…
…a big dude in front of my seat constantly adjusts his seat around… which ends up moving my tray and laptop around like crazy and causes a terrible creaking noise. Then, sometimes their is a lip on the seat in front where the tray comes out from, and the top of my laptop screen gets stuck in the lip when the dude in front of me reclines his seat! Not only could this crack my laptop screen, but it means that to prevent it, I need to crouch down in my seat and tilt my laptop screen in a funky, unergonomic position.
…the tray does not jut outward and is stationary on the front seat. What a terrible design?
…they tell me that there is absolutely no room for my roller bag in the upper compartment. Almost every time they have told me this…I have asked them to “just give me a chance”. And every time they’ve given me a chance, I have been able to fit my bag it the top compartment! Don’t worry, no “kungfu grip” incidents have ever occurred.. a la “Meet the Parents” :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGYr6BA6tEI
…they take away my drink when I’m in business class right before taxing to the runway… damn-it, i want to finish my drink; and I’ve only had it for about 2 minutes! But instead they swoop in and take it away when you are distracted on your laptop or reading a magazine.
…the flight attendant outside the gate treats me like an idiot and tells me to “please stay calm” if I ask when the DELAYED flight is going to actually take off. Just answer the question.
…I have to fight for my rightful claim to 50% of the armrest. What are the “rules” regarding the use of the middle arm rest. 50-50 … or bigger person gets it!! What if both people are huge…do they arm wrestler for it?
…they use the word “placard” when they say that we must “follow all posted signs, crew member instructions and placards”. I don’t know why I hate this word… I just do! It’s like nails on a chalkboard.
…the stewards/stewardesses pitifully attempt to compensate for poor service with a stand up comedy routine. Sorry, you are not funny – just sit down and let us all suffer the poor service and delays in peace.
…they say “in the event of a water landing”. Don’t you mean a crash?
…I see grown men playing senseless video games on their mobile phones while sitting in their seat? Is this what human being have been reduced to?
…people talk loudly about their business dealings. No one cares what a big shot you are buddy. You have a blackberry, top of the line roller bag, etc.. etc.. who cares! Just shut your trap.
Ok, I’m done. Hope you enjoyed my “tongue in cheek” rant.
In all seriousness though… airline and airport service – as almost everyone realizes – has major room for improvement. But because there are so few options available, we must put up with poor service as we are “processed” through the human sortation machine. For an interesting take on how to improve airline service, check out the book “Lean Thinking” : http://books.google.com/books?id=LMI9w2i9WyYC&printsec=frontcover&dq=lean+thinking+airlines+womack+and+jones.
